SHIFTING

there will always be something that is not meant to be shared amongst people -- been feeling a little worthless lately -- can't seemed to find the reason

Been spending a little too much money on books lately. Been indulging myself in countless storylines. Been trying to shut the world a little bit. I thought I just need a little me-time before the year officially ends. 

Do you know the feeling of trying to get rid of something off your shoulders but it just refuses to? Have been trying to put an effort into that lately but very much failed to no avail.

Putting things aside, I've been writing for a year now and I've realised that I've been writing in a rather happy viewpoint. It occurred to me that the fear of writing in a different light grew stronger and bigger each day. I am afraid of being judged, honestly. But then again, everything that's being placed on the Internet will be judged at the end of day. Just that, I've been focusing on being a happier person in the hope that I was able to radiate a sense of happiness in others that has got to be the prime motivation as to why I've been aiming to sculpt masterpieces in my writing. I've been placing beautiful canvases on my site so as to bring across the message that there's always something you can learn from a horrendous storm. I think it has got to me that my aim and thinking has been shifted and reshaped that I totally forgot that being sad is really ok. That putting up a rather sad post online is fine either because you're being true to yourself.

I am just glad I was able to start to write about the truest me and allow my emotions to slip through into the void.